So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
