new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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