The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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