The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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