drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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