i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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