she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Dick very happy bro
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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