I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
