Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Randomize
