like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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