So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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