I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
