so let's talk penis.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
