4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
