Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
