I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize