I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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