if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Shame is for Republicans.
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