Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
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