so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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