real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
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