i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
