I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
