if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
