he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
