it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
