I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
