i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
How many fucks given?
0.12846
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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