I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize