Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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