we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
