jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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