last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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