Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize