Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
