she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
