come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
