i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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