where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
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