My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Pants are for mortals
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
