Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
