It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
