normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
