I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
