why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Randomize
