So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize