That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize