Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
