STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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