i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
