i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
