you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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