All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
