coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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