so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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