That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize