the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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