well most of my day revolves around power hour
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
