marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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