After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
