the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
