yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
