i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
