Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize