i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
