new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
