I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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