is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
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