I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
