Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize